One year Gotcha Day Anniversary!

Today was a very special day.  It is the one year anniversary of our Gotcha Day with Li Lin.  Also known as Forever Family Day in the adoption world.  Li Lin heard our alarm this morning and came into our room.  As if on cue, she said, "Can I see the box on the dresser?"
Yesterday she had spotted this new box on the dresser and asked what it was.  I had told her it held a special gift to celebrate her being in our family for one year and that she could open it tomorrow.  Like most kids, she didn't forget the gift.  Inside the box was a hardcover book entitled, Li Lin's Adoption from China, containing all the blog posts and pictures of our trip to China.  We also included copies of her referral pictures, a copy of the letter we sent to her while she was still in China, and some other pictures marking "firsts": Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthday, Chinese New Year, etc. It is so awesome to have this all in a book form.  This book will likely be something she will treasure in the years to come.

In the afternoon, I took some casual pictures of Li Lin enjoying the flowers and just generally relaxing.  When I looked at the pictures in her memory book I am struck by how understandably serious and stressed she appears in many of the photos.  Today's pictures capture a much happier and more relaxed little girl.

This evening after Hudson and Li Lin's swimming lessons we headed out to one of our favourite Chinese restaurants for a celebratory supper.  Grand-maman came along  to help us commemorate this special day.  Although I am not quite sure how much Li Lin understands about the concept of a one year gotcha day celebration she obviously understood somewhat.  At one point during the supper, she put her arm around Steph and said, "Daddy, you are the best daddy in the world!"

Next, she put her arm around me and said, "Mommy, you are the best mommy in the world!"

A few minutes later she said the same thing to Steph again.  Then she moved her chair really close to me and promptly asked Steph to move his chair closer to her.  She then put an arm around both Steph and I.  She was even starting to ask for the rest of the group to move their chairs closer too.   

After returning home I decided to do an impromptu photo session with the four kids.  It is not often that we get all of them together for a picture.  Shortly thereafter, once the kids were in bed I took a moment to reflect on the past year.  To sum it all up in one word... THANKFUL!  God has blessed me with a fantastic husband, four amazing kids, and a wonderful circle of family and friends.  I also want to shout out a  big thank you to all of you who have prayed for us especially during the first few hours, days, weeks and months after Li Lin's adoption.  We are grateful for all the love and prayers sent on our behalf.  We know it made a difference. 

Li Lin's latest medical update

Today as I picked Li Lin up from her preschool she said, "Am I going to get any needles today?"
"I'm not sure," I replied.
"If I have to get a needle and I am a good girl can I get a special surprise like candy?" she questioned.
"Sounds like a good idea."

We drove downtown in summer conditions and arrived at a cheery mural filled genetics clinic.  We had a consultation with a very friendly medical doctor who specializes in genetic diseases.  We had been referred to her as part of the routine protocol of the Cleft Lip and Palate Program.  I am happy to report Dr. B. did not see any reason to even do bloodwork.  After assessing Li Lin, Dr. B. was confident that Li Lin has an isolated cleft lip and palate problem.  In other words, this is not part of a syndrome or disease.  We are thankful.

As part of the physician's assessment of her, Li Lin was measured.  She is very tiny for her age.  According to the doctor, she is on the 3rd percentile for her height.  As many of my fellow adoptive moms of Chinese children know, a more accurate assessment of height is best done on the Asian growth charts.  She is near the 15th percentile on those charts. :)

We left the office and headed to the vehicle with a somewhat disappointed but apparently healthy little girl.  "Were you hoping for a needle?", I asked.
"Yes.", she replied, then quickly added, "Can I get a special treat anyway?" 

 

Perspectives

I love how a positive perspective on life's seeming annoyances can make such a big difference.  Take the weather for instance. I have seen seemingly endless posts about the snow, rain, cold or lack of spring's arrival on facebook lately.  It gives me pause as I realize that kids have this whole perspective in check much more often than their parents.  When the parents are complaining about the rain, the kids are asking to go out and play in the puddles with their rain boots.  Alternately, when the frustration mounts when the snow is still falling in mid April, the kiddies are enjoying yet another opportunity to play in the fresh powder.

I know, because I am speaking from experience.  Personal experience.  Last week we had snow fall for a day and Li Lin was so pumped for us to be able to go out and make castles in the snow with her shovel and pail.  At first I thought, snow in April?  But then I realized what a fantastic opportunity God was giving us to play in the white stuff.  We likely won't see any again 'til December.  What a gift.

The same thing happened towards the end of last week.  It was cool and raining.  While the adults were groaning, Li Lin was thrilled with the chance to put on her rainboots,  and her raincoat, and go jump in the puddles.  She loved it so much that she begged me for an umbrella!  Then she started asking me when the rain was going to come next.  She knows the rain is so fun!

It was a quiet but powerful rebuke to me.  We, as adults complain far too often.  In turn, we pass this on to our kids.  How many adults would have a more positive outlook on rain or snow, if their parents had chosen to see the fun that could be had in humid weather.  After all, who sends the weather?  What right do we have to complain about it?  I speak to myself first.

In the bigger picture, positive perspectives can make life's difficulties so much easier to bear.  (I am in no way suggesting life-altering tragic stuff  should be taken in a light-hearted way.  True grief is not only okay, it is healthy)  Here is an example of a good perspective I came across today:  this afternoon a friend of mine mentioned in passing that she had spent 24 days hospitalized within the past six months.  Wow.  But what was even more shocking was what she said next, "I am really thankful that I was laid up in this way because God knew I needed to slow down."

I was blown away at her "big picture perspective" on things.  Especially since she had picked up an unpleasant hospital acquired infection during one of her admissions.  I hang my head in shame.  I doubt I would have had that perspective had I walked in her shoes, or shall I say, lain on her hospital bed.

In closing, I leave with you a biblical verse that comes to mind when I think of perspectives.  It is not just a good thing to do, it is actually a command.    Phil 4:8 says: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I know someone who takes this verse as their life's motto, and I have to honestly say, that this person is probably the most contented person I know.  So, if you are feeling down by the endless winter, or some other little annoyance in your life, try a new perspective.  Or better yet, try thankfulness! 

Four legged friends at Li Lin's fourth birthday!

Last Saturday we celebrated our first birthday with Li Lin.  It was her fourth birthday!  We wanted to make it a memorable one, and I think we accomplished that goal thanks to "Creature Quest."

We opted to have a traveling animal show come to the house and "WOW" the kiddos.  Along with being a big surprise for both Li Lin and the other kids, it was also a big hit.  We were visited by a spotted salamander, a bearded lizard, a rabbit, a turtle, a monkey frog, a chinchilla, a hedgehog, a tarantula, a ball python, and a blue-tongued skink.  Other than the chinchilla, which was new to shows and could only be petted by the kids, all the other animals could be independently held by the children.  Li Lin was even given the 'honour' of feeding a meal worm to a the lizard.

 Gotta love group shots of little ones...I took several and this one was the best.. LOL!

Li Lin entering cloud nine... she held the calm rabbit on her lap unaided and just loved it!

 Arm hugs from a python... pretty cool birthday memory for a four year old!

Seeing the look of pure excitement and wonder on the faces of the children was priceless.  Li Lin was also quite excited by the Strawberry Shortcake cake and the balloons.

  Li Lin was entralled with the chinchilla...she told me recently that this was her favourite animal.

Hudson's face says it all...he thought all the animals were super cool!

 Logan loved the python!

Grandmaman gettting in on the candy sushi action as Rykauna is demonstating.

I would be remiss to mention the big help Rykauna and  Logan were in keeping the kids occupied while the animal presenter was setting up.   Or, at least the presenter should have been setting up.  She called to say she was running behind due to traffic.  Rykauna had found an idea for candy sushi on Pinterest so she taught the kids how to make them.  Next, Logan ran a little "stick the berry on the strawberry patch" game.  It is nice having older children that want to help out running games!:) 


We topped the party off with a child's 'gourmet' dinner of Kraft Dinner and chicken fingers.  I think it has been a couple of years since I made KD.  I was pleasantly surprised they have now added dried cauliflower to the cheese mix. LOL!

One of Li Lin's gifts this birthday was a "panda bear" hamster.  In a nod to her Chinese heritage, Rykauna thought we should get her this colour variation on the garden variety hamster.  So yes, we are very likely the only people in our neighbourhood with a hamster named, Beijng!  Unfortunately she is a jumpy little hamster that is very fearful of being handled.  Our children are wishing their, 'animal whisperer' cousin, Kearta, would come for a visit sooner than the summer.

I cannot end a blog post on Li Lin's first birthday with us without thinking a little about her birth parents.  As we enjoyed a lovely, fun, exciting party, I am quite sure that some woman halfway around the world was tossing and turning in bed thinking about the little daughter she delivered four years ago.  Wondering, as any mother would, where her little girl is and whether she is being shown the love she was unable to share with her.  My thoughts were also turning to her foster grandparents.  I am convinced they too loved her.  I am also quite sure they had a tough day/night on March 23 thinking about the little baby they fed with a syringe for many months and nursed back to health after two surgeries.  I owe a lot to these dear people.  So we pray for them all. Regularly.  And should we forget, Li Lin is quick to remind us.

Please don't say this to an adopted child...

A few weeks ago, a couple of well meaning people asked Li Lin virtually the same question within a few days of each days other.  It was a "harmless" question but it really shattered Li Lin's growing feelings of security within our family.

What was it? ... "Would you like to come live with me?"

At the time, I didn't know why, but Li Lin's behaviour tanked.  Ever hear of Denis the Menace?  Ya well, she was acting like a female version of him.  It was a bit exasperating at times.  What I didn't realize was, she was testing me. Testing my love for her out of fear.  Fear that we might allow her to go live with someone else.

I found this out while grocery shopping. I was at my neighbourhood Asian grocery store waiting in line to  pay.  Out of the blue, Li Lin said in a fairly loud voice, "So, are you going to keep me?"

"Of course.  Mommy loves you and adopted you", I quickly stated. 

She has asked me whether I plan to keep her again a few times since.

Unfortunately Li Lin was asked this same troublesome question again last week.  Three times in as many weeks.  Poor little thing.  As long as this question persists, her confidence in us being her 'forever family' is NOT going to improve.

I was not with her this last time.  My mother-in-law was babysitting Little L and her banker thought Li Lin was adorable...so out of his mouth popped the infamous "harmless" question.  At least Li Lin had a quick cute answer for him.  She shook her head and said, "No.  My mommy and daddy would be sad."

Why am I sharing this tale?  Well, its because I know that the three individuals all thought she was sweet, meant no harm, and would feel badly if they knew the consequences of their words.  So please, if you know an adopted child, refrain from asking questions like these. It creates uneasiness in the child about the permanency of her family.  

Thanks :)

Rykauna is headed to surgery...

Rykauna has had more doctor's appointments/tests in the past few months than she has ever had in her life.  When she had a routine physical in the fall her pediatrician had ordered a back x-ray after I mentionned her posture was typical of a growing girl... poor.  Weeks went by and we never got around to finding the time to check whether she had any scoliosis, until I noticed a lump on her throat.

We quickly got her xray done and got an appt with the doc the next day.  Her own pediatrician was super booked up but she was able to be seen by another doc in the office, and an ultrasound was ordered.

A day or so later our pediatrician called.  She said, "I am really confused by the back xray results. She does have very minor scoliosis but that is not the issue.  Does Rykauna have ANY limitations in terms of her mobility?  According to the radiologist's report she has bifid processes on her spine, hypoplastic 12th ribs, and a widened thoracolumbar column."

Stunned, all I said was something like, "Oh. I see."

The pediatrician went on to say, "So we are talking spina bifida."

Woah.  I was not expecting this at all.  SB??  Talk about blow me away.

"I would like to order an MRI to make sure there is not any neurological damage.  If there is, she will be referred to a neurologist," continued the physician.

I hung up and tried to take it in.  See, we did not feel comfortable parenting a spina bifida child so we did not put it on our adoption homestudy and here we have been parenting one for 13 years.  Talk about God having a sense of humour!

So we waited a few weeks, and had the MRI done.  The above picture is of Rykauna dressed in the hospital issued scrubs she was asked to wear for the procedure.  Since she cannot have any metal on you at all when having an MRI, no hair thingy was able to be worn in the pic.

We waited another week and found out the MRI was completely normal.  Great news!  I am not sure about the spine itself...will have to ask next time we are into the office.  What I do know, is that the nervous system is normal.  Thank God.
Meanwhile, the results of the ultrasound came back, and we were told Rykauna likely has a thyroglossal duct cyst or necrosis of a lymph node. Her physician wanted her referred to an ENT specialist as well as she wanted the ultrasound repeated at our local children's hospital.  She mentioned something about having a few misdiagnosed thyroid ultrasounds recently so she wanted the test done by a radiology team she knew and trusted.

The results of the second ultrasound were the same... thyroglossal duct cyst is suspected.  In case you are like me and had no idea what a TDC it is a cyst that develops in a pathway from the tongue base to the thyroid.  The pathway is used in early embryonic development and should not still be open/there.  But this pathway is, and while the thyroid was moving from the tongue base to its present position (8 wk gestation or so) a few cells got left behind and have started to grow a slow-growing cyst.  This cyst will apparently continue to grow, be much harder to remove when bigger, and may interfere with swallowing and/or breathing if not removed. 

Soooo this brings us to Tuesday, March 19th.  Rykauna is going under the knife.  The ENT surgeon thinks there is a small chance it could be a dermoid cyst.  This type of cyst is more easily removable and requires a smaller cut, and no overnight stay.  If it is the suspected TDC, then the cut will be bigger, she will stay overnight in an observation unit with a drain in situ, and have part of her hyoid bone removed.  It is minor surgery but as Rykauna says... "Sure minor surgery, all they are doing is slashing my neck!"

Please pray for Rykauna and for her surgeon.  As you can imagine this is scary for a 13 year old  not too mention the fear of what her neck will look like after this is all over.  Her school friend has unwittingly scared her a bit by saying, "My mom had thyroid cancer a few years ago... I know what I am talking about when I say you will need to wear scarves for a long time to hide the scar." 


We are keeping this in perspective though, Rykauna has seen kiddos with chemo effects, kids with significant deformities, those with severe mental delays, and those with several IV pumps behind their wheelchairs  in our trips to the children's hospital.  Rykauna's condition is truly minor in comparison.  We have a lot to be thankful for... this year is the first year we have ever set foot in the pediatric hospital for care for one of our kids.  Truly blessed.  Not to mention the "lump on her neck" could have been the Big C.  So thankful :)





   

Valentine's Day- Love it or Loath it

Rykauna somehow bribed her two youngest sibs into allowing her to do a Valentine's Day photo shoot.  I think the big pink lollipop may have a lot to do with their cooperation modelling for her :)  Anyway, in honour of heart day, here are a few of the pics Rykauna took.

Steph and I celebrated V-day a week early.  He surprised me with  roses and a dinner out.  My mother-in -law watched the kids while we enjoyed some time together. Thanks, Mom!

On the actual day, February 14th, we had a nice time with the kids.  I had to leave after  school for a short appt with Hudson.  Steph stayed home with the other three kids.  I came home a half hour later to Steph vacuuming our home with a rag hanging out of his jeans pocket.  He had just finished cleaning one of our bathrooms!  What a blessed woman I am.  I definitely have found my true valentine...LOVE HIM so much!  Our dinner consisted of fajitas on heart shaped tortillas and red velvet cake for dessert.  The kids are so sweet about giving us little valentines, making heart shaped cookies and swirling caramel sauce into a heart shape over ice cream. For our part, a little gift each for the kids and they were all smiles.

As much as I love Valentine's Day.  I was keenly reminded that not everyone looks forward to this day though.  In fact, I think it is safe to say, many people genuinely dread it.  One of my dear, single friends texted me on Feb 14th and said, "Happy Single Awareness Day!" I love her sense of humour, but I also got the message.  This day can be downright tough on single people.  So, if you are a praying person, please pray for your single friends next Valentine's Day.  Some of them feel "Single Awareness Day" more keenly than others.